Monday, 26 September 2011
Tuesday, 20 September 2011
Happened to me today, and quite literally pee's me off.
I walk in a petrol station and talk to the counter girl:
Me: "Do you have a loo?"
Counter girl: "No"
Me: "Well, where do you go while your on
C.G: "In the staff loo"
Me: "Sooo you do have a loo? Can I use it please?"
C.G: "NO! It'a for staff only"
Me: "Listen jobsworth, think about this logically I need to pee. It's your loo or your floor, Now I know how to flush a chain, but I don't know where you keep your mop"
C.G: "just round the corner there..."
C'mon people, get a grip! It's a freaking loo.
Thursday, 15 September 2011
There is a very clear difference between my wife Becky and myself, Becky has a lovely ability of seeing the best in everyone, something you will no doubt have noticed I lack and I'd be lying if I said it didn't cause some complications. The biggest being how I want my ashes disposed of when I die. I have given Becky very specific instructions. I will give her a list of people and I would like her to take my urn of ashes round to each one take a handful of ash and throw it in each persons face, then point and laugh. Becky refuses to do what I feel is a very reasonable request. Instead she suggested baking a cake for everyone.
Wednesday, 7 September 2011
Art work and idea refinement kindly dontated by Frank.
you can find his blogs here http://retrievalfailurefmemorydump.blogspot.com/
and here http://usedmemorysleapdepository.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, 6 September 2011
#2 To a lady walking past me in the high street with a blue streak in her otherwise white hair : "Did you go to sleep with your head on a biro or something?"
#3 Waiting to get off the train in the middle of a group of women : "What consitiutes an emergency? because sometimes women have makeup emergencies."
#4 Walking out of the disabled toilet in mc donalds : "THAT WAS A DELICIOUS POO!"
#5 To a customer who I don't like asking if I am having a bad day : "No, I just don't like you"