Friday, 22 July 2011

YOUR A WIZARD!





Returning home from the car one evening the wife and I overheard a man shouting at someone YOUR A F*&£ING WIZARD! The protagonists were hidden by a bush and they sounded angry, so I didn't investigate, thus I employed the talents Gail Weiss to illustrate it for you.

This is the reimagining of that situation I overheard from behind a bush.
Thanks to Gail for her time and effort I hope you all enjoy it as much I do. If
you'd like to see more of Gails fantastic funny drawings you can find her blog here :
http://the-meme-diary.blogspot.com/

Monday, 18 July 2011

Check the Cheque.

Why do people have a strange unwavering obediance to rules that we dont quite understand, for fear we will be marked as stupid, Surely I am not alone in the idea that the "traditon" of when writing a cheque one must write ONLY after writing the amount of monies is unnecessary? I wouldn't be suprised if it had been tried before but Im quite confident that no bank will honour a cheque written as thus : Seven pounds and one thousand pounds.

Here's a nice transcript to relay another problem
(house phone rings)

Me: (answering the phone) Hello?
Company Moron : Can I speak with Mrs ****** please?
Me : Who is calling please?
CM: Idiots limited Can we talk to Mrs ****** please?
Me : Speaking
CM : ......... um.. MRS, ******?
Me : Yes, Can I help you?

I do it in my normal voice too.
I do this to highlight a point, Not revealing information to the customers husband does not make you 'safe'.

Wednesday, 13 July 2011

A T.V is for life, not just for christmas.

My day yesterday was semi eventful, it was not exciting though I do feel a particular event will reveal some useful information.
firstly for the people in this audience not familiar with T.V licensing allow me to explain : Here in the U.K the BBC is partially funded by a licensing fee which at this time of print is £145.50 per year, Unfortunately the T.V license authority would allow you to believe that this fee applies to you just for the ownership of a television set. well I can reassure you, It doesn't. In fact the licensing fee applies only to LIVE programming on your set mobile phone or PC. So using "catch up" services online such as BBC iplayer are not covered and therefore free to anyone.
After becoming unemployed I cancelled my T.V license and tuned out the programming and within a month I received numerous letters warning me of the fine I would receive if when they called round my T.V was found to be tuned in to programming.
Yesterday mid morning I heard a knock at my door answering it the man revealed himself to be from T.V licensing and showed me his I.D. Another little known fact is unless I invite him in, he will need a warrant, but as tempted as I was to slam the door in his face, I wanted to end the stream of harassment coming through my mail. He turned on my T.V, flicked around, saw no programming and left satisfied I don't need a license.
Feeling rather elated later on that I had won (and proved people wrong while doing nothing) I celebrated by watching BBC iplayer.

Friday, 8 July 2011

Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Say CHEESE!

While I'd be the first to admit I like a good ironic moan I am a believer in staying proactively happy, So sit back and enjoy this Ironing. Sure we all get grumpy at times it's our nature, but I can't stand when people live in a cloud of impenetrable grouch. I recently met one such person whose chosen profession is to drive public transport, I immediately recognised the symptoms : Uncaring eyes, down turned mouth and the words 'No change given' written on his jumper. Deciding that trying to talk to this man directly could affect my physical health I sat close to the drivers cab and recalled some information. A common known fact is smiling uses less muscles then frowning but a less common known fact is the more you frown the more likely you can cause your facial muscles to become weakened and permanently take a 'down-mouth' position. Of course there is a simple solution, Smiling! Something that the bus driver could have learned, if he hadn't been to busy shouting.

Sunday, 3 July 2011

Cyber Scare Tactics

At one point in our social networking lives we have all wondered about deleting our online presence, A couple of years ago I had decided enough was enough and sat down to delete my page. I logged on and after a lengthy search I found the seemingly 'hidden' link to deactivate my account, This link immediately sent me to a questionnaire asking "why had I chosen to leave" I selected the "I don't find this website useful" option. I think this upset the website as it went on to retaliate, "perhaps you'd find it more useful if you had more friends" Now I'm not a technophobe, but it does scare me a little when a website starts calling me a loser. In fact it scares me so much I reactivated my account.